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reallyreallyreallytrying:

coolest thing about the queen’s xmas message is the bit at the end where she goes “hehehehehehe wipeout” and grabs her longboard



heckacute:

I used to think that it was illegal to eat banana peels, but now I know it’s illegal.



I’m not going to bite the bullet unless I know it’s gluten-free.



I don’t mean to brag or anything but I can still fit into my earrings from high school.



officialunitedstates:

unofficialnasa:

officialunitedstatesi:

how does music say goodbye

how

audios



officialunitedstates:

who needs friends when you have inactive followers



officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE DAY:  zebras’ stripes are not always black and white.  sometimes they are black and orange

image



officialunitedstates:

m3d1c101:

officialunitedstates:

im not single im kraft® single

was the ® even necessary

yes i do not want to go to jail



officialunitedstates:

it’s 4:20 you know what that means.  time to go out and milk the cows.  life on a pennsylvanian farm is tough but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.



officialunitedstates:

hbmmaster:

officialunitedstates:

as my uncle frank used to say “you aint getting any bananers if you dont use yer manners”

your uncle frank seems cool

thanks i made him up





I've got a poetic license to kill.

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